Rejoice Through the Struggles

Often as followers of Christ we find ourselves in situations where it is not so easy to be Christlike. Since we live in a fallen world it is not often normal to act like Christ in this day and age. 

Coming home from my D.T.S. was a huge challenge for me. I myself was a changed woman but the life I left behind was exactly the same. I was pumped up and on fire for God ready to give it all up and follow Him, and I was inpatient. What i did not realize is that in order for God to use me He first needed to refine me. I experienced so much healing in D.T.S. But there were still and i'm sure will always be, areas in my life that i needed to work on. 

 I wasn't sure what the next step in life was so i decided to get a job temporarily to save until the Lord revealed to me the next step. I could have had my dream job at Starbucks (i am extremely passionate about coffee) but, they wanted me to commit to working there for a year. I would have committed, but, there was such uneasiness in my spirit. I knew I wasn't gonna be around that long. So, I had to call the manager and turn her down. Sad day.

The very next day I got hired at Panera bread. I hated, loathed this job at first. The customers were rude to me all day long and I knew I was way overqualified. But, as much as I prayed about leaving the Lord kept telling me to stay. I had asked Him to help me be a better person and this was the answer to my prayers. This job forced me to see areas in my heart that  needed change. I learned how powerful our words are and what an effect life-giving words have on people. I learned how to love people that are not easy to love with God's heart and sometimes that just means being kind to someone who u think doesn't deserve kindness. Speaking life when death was being spoken to me. I believe these small things can be big steps to changing the world. I will tell you i know first hand that it is really easy to talk about things like this, but, absolutely impossible to live  without God's grace. It pretty much took me up until the last day I was there to learn these lessons. 

So, the lesson in all of this was that I needed to trust God even when I didn't understand what he was doing, even when I thought I knew what was best for me. He is so faithful and always comes through when we trust Him. I am so thankful for that experience and so thankful that it is over! : )

Praise God For The Struggles

God Loves India

India is  a country that will overwhelm your every sense! The color's the flavor's the smells : /. One thing that stuck out to me during the 2 months i spent there last year is the extreme poverty and broad sense of hopelessness.  

One day in a small red light district in the outskirts of Mumbai I had a chance to get out of the day care center we were working in and walk around. I ended up in the home of Uma and Julie, two women who worked in the district.  It was extremely difficult to communicate with these women as I was without a translator, But, i found a kid on the street who spoke a little English and recruited him to help me. A few other women entered the room  asking for prayer for themselves and one women wanted prayer for her sick baby. As i was praying for the child he peed on me (diapers are not often worn by babies in India). 

I felt led to share with these women that i am not the one who brings healing and freedom. That anyone who believes in Him can pray in Jesus name and have healing. I was touched as they all got in a circle and began to pray for one another.

After our time of prayer as i sat on the prostitutes bed, covered in urine, enjoying a samosa that was graciously offered to me by my new friends, I was filled with the joy of the Lord. He sent me to this place, this specific room, these specific women because He loves them and wants them to know the freedom that comes from knowing Him!

 I was completely overwhelmed by the poverty, suffering and disease that i saw in India. However, the most overwhelming sense i got was the sense God's love for the broken and suffering people in this poor and oppressed nation. It was truly and amazingly beautiful. 

A match made in Heaven

Since I was a little girl I dreamed of getting married in Hawaii. I never gave much thought to dresses or cakes, guests or little trinkets. Just me, the perfect him, and our loved ones celebrating  a lifelong commitment in paradise. 

When i was 23 on the verge of 24 my dream came true. I was in hawaii. I stumbled onto the Youth With a Mission campus in Kona, Hawaii on april 8th 2010. I was hungover from years of partying. My spirit was dry, my soul an ocean of emotions ranging from extreme fear to overwhelming excitement. I was not here to get married, in fact, i would have preferred if there were no men on campus at all. I was here to seek God, and wanted no distractions.

Up to this point i had tried to steer my life and failed miserably time after time. I knew there was a God. I felt His presence in my life several times before. However, a strongly mistaken view on religion had kept me from pursuing any kind of personal relationship with God. Being, by nature, a strong willed individual it only took 23 years for me to finally give up. To lay it all down and give God a chance to run the life that ,try as I might, I couldn't seem to get together. 

It did not take long for God to prove himself worthy of the task. Within one day of being on the Y.W.A.M. Kona campus. the Lord started speaking to my heart. Showing up in miraculous and undeniable ways. He started to highlight areas in my life that held me back from being the person that he created me to be. He brought light into the darkest most hidden and fearful places in my heart and with it brought much healing. 

I started to realize the truth of the gospel and the revelation that God sent His son Jesus to die for our sins. For freedom! Not so that we can spend our lives trying to work to get into Heaven. Not so that we will try to be perfect. The truth is that we will never be perfect, we are born sinners. That is why Jesus had to die on the cross. Through His blood we are clean! Our sins are forgiven. This realization was the single most life changing revelation of my life. Because of this message I don't feel like I have to be good. I just want to. I don't feel like I have to follow Jesus to get into Heaven. I just hate the thought of a life not following Him. 

I fell in love with Jesus in Kona Hawaii.  Standing on the amazing shore of the pacific ocean, just me and the perfect Him surrounded by people we loved, I was baptized into the Kingdom. It was the worlds most perfect marriage.